Founders Beers Coming to Texas (But I Bet Not Here)

Founders Brewing Company recently announced they would be coming to Texas.

Yes!

They will distribute through Ben E. Keith.

Motherfucker. Sonuvabitch. [They recently delivered some some Divine Reserve 13 to Paradise, so I softened the language.]

From the press release (I added the stuff in brackets because it must have been left out of the original article.):

We’ve partnered with Ben E. Keith Beverage Distributors to offer our beers across the Lone Star State [except Fredericksburg] beginning April 2013. Texans [who don't live in Fredericksburg] will now have the opportunity to enjoy Founders ales without having to leave the state. [If you live in Fredericksburg, you WILL have to drive 24 miles to Kerrville.]"

“Texas is an up-and-coming market, and we’re impressed with what we’re seeing there [except in Fredericksburg],” said Co-Founder and CEO Mike Stevens. “We’ve been getting more and more inquiries from Founders fans in Texas over the past couple of years. The Ben E. Keith team is dedicated to the craft beer market [in towns other than Fredericksburg] and is helping introduce complex brands like ours to eager consumers [outside of Fredericksburg] who are hungry for them. Besides, we’ve always wanted to get Founders beer to Willie Nelson’s home state. Now the time is right. [Unless you live in Fredericksburg. Then you're fucked.]”

If Founders beers were made by Maui Brewing, they would have full distribution here in Paradise.

We can't even get all the Saint Arnold beers here, but cows in Houston get Endeavor for fucking free! And I'm expected to believe that Ben E. Keith will let me have a chance of buying a Founders Breakfast Stout in Fredericksburg?

Not bloody likely. Very Bloody likely!

Ben E. Keith HATES  isn't fond of the Great Texas Craft Beer Desert and the folks who live therein, especially us in Fredericksburg. Since I want Founders beers, it won't be here. But I bet they sell it in Kerrville, on the Interstate.

Why, Founders, why couldn't you have chosen Brown Distributing in Austin? At least they have a rep here who cares. . .

I'll keep letting my friend in Illinois send me Founders beer.  At least he'll distribute Founders here.