12 August 2012

An American Toast - Really?

I get email (Sorry, PZ, I had to use the line.) and most of the time it's just people trying to boost my website's rankings on Google, or something equally spammy. The other day, I got this email:

Hi Jeff,
Have you ever noticed that there is no America-specific toast option - a la Proust, Cheers (British), Slainte, Le Chaim, etc.? The VIA Agency (theviaagency.com) decided to do something about this problem just in time for the summer Olympics, where there will undoubtedly be a lot of times for cheering (U-S-A, U-S-A) and cheers-ing.  
VIA has come up with 10 options for the new 'Toast of the Nation' (which you can see below) and created a Facebook app to allow people to vote for their favorite, or make a suggestion for another one.
So far, the choices are kinda lame. My comments are in brackets.

1. To the Dream!
2. Valor! [Wasn't he a 90s DC hero?]
3. Huzzah! [What American says this?]
4. To Us All!
5.  For the Win!
6.  No more pot noodle for us! [WTF?]
7.  To Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness [Presumably, happiness as defined by the Tea Party and Chick-Fil-A.]
8.  Dude! [This one I like.]
9.  To the whites of their eyes! [Probably the most American of the suggestion, but still too wordy.]
10.  Hakuna Matata! [Sounds African to me. ;)]


But really, do we need to have an American toast? If we do, why not "America! Fuck, Yeah!"



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posted by Jeff Holt at 06:00

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